Category Archives: My life

Christkindlmarket

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Last Saturday, we met up with some college friends at Christkindlmarket in Daley Plaza for some German beer, bratwursts, gluhwein (hot spiced wine in a boot!) and some good old fashioned Christmas-y fun. Then we headed to the Beer Bistro in the West Loop for – you guessed it – more beer! (And they also have a pretty amazing goat cheese and pepperoni pizza.)

But let this be a lesson, my friends, that extreme fun does not come without a price.

Because thanks to a lingering cold and talking too much, I now cannot speak. At all. And it’s not for lack of trying. However, when I do attempt to vocalize something, it sounds less like human speech and more like some sort of animal who is gargling and suffocating at the same time. Words are unrecognizable. Thank God I’m a skilled mime. (No I’m not.)

But Saturday was totally worth all of the sympathetic looks I’ve been getting at work today. I mean, I got to drink out of a boot – again – and I think I can safely say that drinking out of footwear is now my preferred method of (de)hydration.

Long live das boot!

My husband is NOT getting what he wants for Christmas

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Because every time I ask him what he wants, he says “nothing.” And that is not acceptable.

Christmas is a time of sharing, thoughtfulness and selflessness. And how dare he deny me the joy of giving!

So since he is being super unhelpful, I have no idea what to get him. All I know is that it has to be inexpensive (or he’ll tell me he would have rather just kept the money and that I should be boiled in my own pudding! Or something like that) and better than the electronic dart board I got him five years ago that he still hasn’t even taken out of the box.

I tried consulting the gift guides that have been popping up on blogs and in my inbox lately, but I’m getting the feeling that the people who compile these things don’t really know my husband at all. Their suggestions are either super expensive or impractical.

For example, what is with every male gift guide including a flask of some sort?? Yes, it’s a very masculine item and might be considered a “cool” gift, but how many men out there actually use a flask? Regularly? Who aren’t alcoholics?

(source)

Attention men who read this blog: First of all, do you exist? Second of all, is there any reason why you would use a flask like this besides to look like a tool who is trying not to look like a tool? Is a flask actually a good gift for a guy? Am I missing something here?

Also, if anyone has any non-flask gift ideas for men, I’m all ears!

Weekend in (blurry) photos

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As the pictures above clearly demonstrate, blurry photography can occur as the result of many circumstances, including:

1) When your husband is the photographer

2) When alcoholic beverages are being consumed

3) When the camera being used is actually a mobile phone

Hopefully you can tell by looking at these pictures that I had a fun weekend involving Thanksgiving festivities, late nights with good friends, an afternoon at the Chicago History Museum, a sleepy dog, and Christmas decorating.

It may sound like a busy weekend, but Will still found the time to watch 15 episodes of The Wire on his iPad, if that gives you an idea of how much wonderful downtime we had. I got to catch up on episodes of Glee and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Elf just happened to be on while we were putting up our Christmas tree!

Lazy post-holiday weekends are my favorite.

Thanksgiving morning

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In addition to the best family, friends and the generally charmed life I lead, I’m thankful for a lot of little things this relaxing Thanksgiving morning:

1. Sleeping in

2. Coffee. And desserts disguised as breakfast foods.

3. Sweater socks

4. Cozy candlelight

5. The Cutest Dog in the World

6. Christmas lights

7. Parades

8. The fact that the movie Newsies is now a Broadway musical and it looks AWESOME

9. My lack of cooking ability that gives me an excuse to by a fancy pumpkin pie from the bakery down the street

Hope everyone has a lazy, delicious, thankful day!

For those of you with pregnant friends

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This is pretty much the best card ever.

I found it at Greer several months ago, but didn’t have anyone to send it to at the time. I bought it anyway because I’m at that age when suddenly every time I turn around, I find out another friend has decided to create a spawn.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to dinner with two friends, one of whom announced she was pregnant. Amazing news! But that meant no wine for her and my other friend and I had already ordered drinks. No matter! She simply requested to sniff our drinks in order to satisfy her wine-lust. And we were happy to oblige.

Perfect person to receive this card – FOUND!

If I ever get pregnant, I have a feeling I’ll be doing a lot of wine sniffing myself…

I’m beginning to feel a lot like succumbing

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I know I scolded Bloomingdale’s a couple of months ago for putting up their Christmas decorations in September. (And, come on – that was completely justified.)

But as we inch ever-closer to December, it seems that warm, twinkling Christmas-y feeling is stirring in the depths of my cold, barren soul.

Maybe it’s the fact that my bright red peacoat is back in regular rotation in my wardrobe.

Or maybe it’s because the gingerbread latte has arrived at Starbucks, along with their cute holiday-themed cups. (In my book, the current season is determined based purely on what is on the Starbucks signature drink menu, and that alone.)

And this morning, I received an email notification that the new holiday issue of Lonny is out!

Also, it snowed a little yesterday. So there’s that. (Please excuse my lack of excitement.)

BUT I absolutely will NOT be busting out the *NSYNC Christmas album.  Until after Thanksgiving.

A girl has to have something to look forward to!

(source)

I missed my own 3 seconds of fame

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(source)

Guess what? I was on the NBC 5 Chicago news last night! Did you see it?

Because I didn’t.

Yesterday I decided to go to Corner Bakery for lunch. As I was walking along Michigan Avenue, dodging tourists, fixing my bangs (it was windy) and trying to decide if I should get the chopped salad with or without bleu cheese, a handsome young fellow with a microphone that had a blue logo on it (remember that!) popped up in front of me and asked me what I thought about “robocalling.”

Uhh…

Yes, that’s what I said. “Uhh…”

Then I went on to mumble some stuff about not wanting to pay for things I didn’t ask for and ignoring calls from numbers I don’t recognize. I can’t remember. I got distracted when I realized the camera guy was focusing in on my bad side, which is my right side thanks to some weird bangs-looking-like-sideburns issue I have going on right now. (Again with the bangs!)

Anyway, I was fairly certain I would NOT make it on air because I’m clearly an idiot who is uninformed about robocalling (Robots can call us on the phone now!? Can they clean bathrooms yet?). Also, my attempt to slowly rotate my right side away from the camera probably looked kind of creepy.

BUT wouldn’t you know, a little after 5 pm yesterday, Will gets a text from his friend Dan that he saw me on the news! Great! Actually, not great! I’m not a fan of looking like a ditz in public!

So, I rushed to make it home in time for the 6:00 news on CBS – they have a blue logo right? – to assess the damage. And I made it! And I watched. And I did not see myself. Unless the way I view myself is so unrealistic and distorted that I can’t even recognize my own image on TV, but NO! That was not the case.

Turns out, it was on NBC.

Excuse me, but isn’t their logo a colorful peacock of sorts?? They have no business using a blue logo on their microphone, amiright?

CBS wanna-bes.

So I was pissed, but no matter – I was sure it would be posted on online.

NOPE.

All of the other NBC news stories from that day (all of them!) were posted, but the video about robocalling? Just a 3 minute clip of Attorney General Lisa Madigan going “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.” Ridiculous. And of course the story wasn’t sexy enough to make the lineup on the flashy 10:00 news.

So I missed what might be my only chance in life to see how stupid I really look to other people.

Did any of you happen to see it?? If so, please just tell me that I looked like a supermodel and spoke with the wit and intelligence of Tina Fey. (Even if I actually looked like Tina Fey and spoke with the wit and intelligence of a supermodel.)

(Not that it’s bad to look like Tina Fey!)

Retro photo gems – 2nd installment

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I just have a few things to say about this photo:

1. It was taken at my friend Cynthia’s bachelorette party in Savannah, GA in a bar called JJ Bonerz.

2. It was not Halloween.

3. I did not know these two pirates. They were sweaty. But also true southern gentlemen.

4. I went through a phase in my mid-twenties when I would make devil horns in approximately 1/3 of the photos taken of me while intoxicated.

5. At some point that night, I also ended up wearing one of those pirate hats. Did I mention these guys were sweaty?

6. Someone please tell me where you can buy a sleeveless pinstripe button-up shirt.

 

(See the 1st installment of my Retro Photo Gems series here)

Happy Halloween!

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As I listen to the sounds of chainsaws and screaming coming from the scary moving playing at work and scan through a photo collage of my friends’ kids in their costumes (otherwise known as Facebook), I am reminded that it is Halloween!

If you didn’t know, Halloween is my favorite holiday that does not involve the exchanging of presents.

This year, I dressed up as a “lame person.” The costume consisted of me not dressing up.

But if I did dress up, I definitely would have been something only slightly less stupid than that. As someone who is really good at just waiting for opportunities to fall into her lap, I don’t generally enjoy putting effort into things.

So I feel like I better start thinking of costume ideas for my future kids right now. Otherwise, sending them to school on Halloween wrapped black garbage bags and claiming that they are discarded dumpster corpses from Law & Order SVU might happen. More than once.  But if you think about it, that’s really a pretty versatile costume. The garbage bag can also be used to store the candy they collect, and when they get older, they can put on tube tops, smear lipstick across their faces and be slutty dumpster corpses (which might actually be more authentic!).