Christmas creep

Today while strolling through the Gold Coast, I used my phone to take a photo of a Christmas tree through the window of a complete stranger’s home. Surprisingly, I was not arrested.

My excuse? It’s Christmas! And it’s getting to me. It’s the time of year when I just can’t resist anything sparkling, the smell of pine, and the crooning of Bing Crosby. The air is refreshingly crisp, Starbucks drinks taste of gingerbread and peppermint, and all of the tiny dogs I pass are wearing plaid sweaters with mini matching booties. It makes me happy.

Because of this, my Instagram photos of late have been overwhelmingly Christmas-themed. (This is of course in addition to the year-round themes of “Gatsby” and “alcoholic drinks I drink.”)

Pretty paper

Pretty paper

"But officer, look at that tree!"

“But officer, look at that tree!”

All Bing, all the time

All Bing, all the time

Tongue paper cuts from stamp-licking are a very real thing

Tongue paper cuts from stamp-licking are a very real thing

The little hipster

The little hipster

Still sleeps with his teddy bear

Still sleeps with his teddy bear

Treat yo' self

Treat yo’ self

Indoor 'smores ('smore what?)

Indoor ‘smores (‘smore what?)

Beer flight

Beer flight

Night lights

Night lights

"Good news! I saw a dog today."

“Good news! I saw a dog today.”

So that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Not looking forward to January. Christmas detox can be quite painful.

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Hey, I tried

This year, I tried to get all crafty (and environmentally conscious, mind you) by wrapping Christmas gifts in brown paper grocery bags and sprucing them up with some colorful tape.

So if you receive a gift from us and it smells like cheese, deli meat, toilet paper (not used!), or tampons (not used!), then I apologize. And I’m not judging, but what kind of weirdo smells gifts?

Anyway, hopefully the old saying “it’s the thought that counts” also applies to the gift wrapping – not just the gift.

Christkindlmarket

Last Saturday, we met up with some college friends at Christkindlmarket in Daley Plaza for some German beer, bratwursts, gluhwein (hot spiced wine in a boot!) and some good old fashioned Christmas-y fun. Then we headed to the Beer Bistro in the West Loop for – you guessed it – more beer! (And they also have a pretty amazing goat cheese and pepperoni pizza.)

But let this be a lesson, my friends, that extreme fun does not come without a price.

Because thanks to a lingering cold and talking too much, I now cannot speak. At all. And it’s not for lack of trying. However, when I do attempt to vocalize something, it sounds less like human speech and more like some sort of animal who is gargling and suffocating at the same time. Words are unrecognizable. Thank God I’m a skilled mime. (No I’m not.)

But Saturday was totally worth all of the sympathetic looks I’ve been getting at work today. I mean, I got to drink out of a boot – again – and I think I can safely say that drinking out of footwear is now my preferred method of (de)hydration.

Long live das boot!

My husband is NOT getting what he wants for Christmas

Because every time I ask him what he wants, he says “nothing.” And that is not acceptable.

Christmas is a time of sharing, thoughtfulness and selflessness. And how dare he deny me the joy of giving!

So since he is being super unhelpful, I have no idea what to get him. All I know is that it has to be inexpensive (or he’ll tell me he would have rather just kept the money and that I should be boiled in my own pudding! Or something like that) and better than the electronic dart board I got him five years ago that he still hasn’t even taken out of the box.

I tried consulting the gift guides that have been popping up on blogs and in my inbox lately, but I’m getting the feeling that the people who compile these things don’t really know my husband at all. Their suggestions are either super expensive or impractical.

For example, what is with every male gift guide including a flask of some sort?? Yes, it’s a very masculine item and might be considered a “cool” gift, but how many men out there actually use a flask? Regularly? Who aren’t alcoholics?

(source)

Attention men who read this blog: First of all, do you exist? Second of all, is there any reason why you would use a flask like this besides to look like a tool who is trying not to look like a tool? Is a flask actually a good gift for a guy? Am I missing something here?

Also, if anyone has any non-flask gift ideas for men, I’m all ears!

Smells like Christmas spirit

Guys! Today is a busy one, but I had to do a quick post about this candle.

I got it yesterday at Anthropologie, and it’s called Sweet Balsam.

And sweet balsam, does it smell good!

On the Anthro website, they describe the scent as “freshly cut evergreens join dewy spring bulbs.” But really, it smells like straight-up Christmas tree.

Which is awesome when you have  fake tree from Target that smells like a mildewy crawl-space.

I’m beginning to feel a lot like succumbing

I know I scolded Bloomingdale’s a couple of months ago for putting up their Christmas decorations in September. (And, come on – that was completely justified.)

But as we inch ever-closer to December, it seems that warm, twinkling Christmas-y feeling is stirring in the depths of my cold, barren soul.

Maybe it’s the fact that my bright red peacoat is back in regular rotation in my wardrobe.

Or maybe it’s because the gingerbread latte has arrived at Starbucks, along with their cute holiday-themed cups. (In my book, the current season is determined based purely on what is on the Starbucks signature drink menu, and that alone.)

And this morning, I received an email notification that the new holiday issue of Lonny is out!

Also, it snowed a little yesterday. So there’s that. (Please excuse my lack of excitement.)

BUT I absolutely will NOT be busting out the *NSYNC Christmas album.  Until after Thanksgiving.

A girl has to have something to look forward to!

(source)