Let’s get random

And suddenly, it’s 2013.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!

My activities over the holidays can best be expressed in a dramatic monologue and simultaneous interpretive dance. But Gatsby got camera-shy when I asked to record his performance for the blog. So you’ll have to settle for Instagram. (Did you know that you can follow me on Instagram? Because you can.)

Tea at The Drake

Airport drinks on the way to St. Louis

Christmas morning mimosas with my parents

Warmth! Sunshine! Florida!

Cozy Christmas presents

Wine everywhere at dinner with AGD girls

The best Christmas leftovers

New bookends

As you can see, the holidays were pretty awesome, and man I want to go back to Florida.

In addition to that half-assed recap, I also have these thoughts:

1. I’ve been reading Are You There, Vodka? It’s me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler, and dammit if that woman’s writing isn’t way more entertaining than mine. I envy her edginess, and I guess I could always go the shock value route, but I have to wait for my parents to die first. Or go blind, or forget how to read. Other women whose writing is better than mine include Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling. Conclusion: comparing myself to professional comedians is not a productive exercise in self-esteem building.

2. Everyone please stop using the phrase “cool beans!” right now. It really makes me wish you weren’t a tool. Also, beans make me think of farting and then I associate that with you. And I really want to like you. I do.

3. I’m pretty sure I had this floral jean jacket in third grade in 1991. It’s now being sold at Gap in 2013. I don’t remember traveling to the future to make the purchase, but I’m not completely ruling it out.

4. Do you say “The Gap” or just “Gap?” I try to avoid saying it altogether because I just don’t know.

5. Showering every day is really starting to feel like a burden. This is very concerning because “second day hair” is not a look that works for me.

6. We recorded a Downton Abbey marathon on PBS about a month ago and watched all of it over the past couple weeks. It’s fabulous. But I just discovered that the DVR didn’t record the last 3 episodes of the second season (whhhyyy???) and there doesn’t seem to be an easy way to watch them online. It is slowly dawning on me that I might never get to see them. I guess that’s the reality of the cold, cruel world we live in.

7. While playing Cards Against Humanity last weekend, I discovered that nothing is funnier to me than random tiny animals wearing human clothes.

Have an un-sucky Monday!

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I’m back!

Hellooo America!
I’ll just say it – our trip to Italy was phenomenal. I mean, look at this photo:

And this one!

I promise that’s just a preview. I’ll do posts on all of the places we went, but first I have approximately 5 million photos to go through, which will take approximately 5 million years. It’s like I’m building a cathedral (you know, because that used to take a really long time?) and hopefully the result will be just as breathtaking. If I should perish before this epic project is completed, that’s totally not my fault, so don’t be mad. But I’ll try my best to get the photos done. And also not to perish.

I’ll be honest and let you know that no photo editing will be taking place this week. We got back on Monday, and my life has been a little disorganized since then.

If you ask me what day it is, there’s less than a 50% chance that I will provide the correct answer. I haven’t shaved my legs in 6 days. And yes, I’ve worn shorts since then. I’ve eaten Subway (6-inch turkey on wheat) for lunch for the past 3 days in a row because that’s how much I’m craving routine. And I haven’t even watched a single episode of The Bachelorette! I don’t even know who I am anymore! And at times over the past few days, that statement could be taken literally!

Thank God today is Friday. I could really use a vacation.

(Kidding, I’m just kidding! Geez, stop glaring at me…)

So here’s what I’ve been up to…

There have been a LOT of things going on in my world lately, and unfortunately blogging has not been one of them.

Long story short, I accepted a new job early last week and I start next Monday! In the meantime, I have this entire week off to bask in the sunshine and frolick through fields of wildflowers. (Note: Right now it’s really cloudy and I’m in the city, probably at least 20 miles away from the nearest wildflower. I guess this is when I realize I don’t actually live in The Sound of Music? I may need a moment to process that.)

I spent this past weekend celebrating my career move (more on that later) and Will’s 30th birthday, which involved me planning a fabulous surprise party! Then having to cancel it! Because Will had to travel for work! And ruined everything! (Ok, not really – I had to do a little rescheduling, but was still able to surprise him. I just like to do that thing where I pretend to be mad at people for things that are entirely out of their control. Is that a thing?)

I also celebrated my friend Kim’s 30th birthday (April was a busy month for birthing cool people back in 1982) and went to tea with my friend Laura and my mom at the gorgeous Driehaus Museum in River North.

The weird thing is that the only photos I took during the entire weekend were completely random and had almost nothing to do with these events. But I will show them to you anyway because otherwise this post would be completely lacking in visual stimulation. And if you’re like me, your favorite part of reading is the pictures.

Celebratory mojito!

Celebratory vodka and Limonata!

I made food! Edible food!

And this is the result! Just kidding. This is the Illinois Wesleyan alumni tea at the Driehaus Museum. Also, I’m done with the exclamation points.

Beautiful chandelier at the Driehaus.

I challenge anyone to top the randomness of this post. I’m pretty sure it can’t be done.