As I listen to the sounds of chainsaws and screaming coming from the scary moving playing at work and scan through a photo collage of my friends’ kids in their costumes (otherwise known as Facebook), I am reminded that it is Halloween!

If you didn’t know, Halloween is my favorite holiday that does not involve the exchanging of presents.

This year, I dressed up as a “lame person.” The costume consisted of me not dressing up.

But if I did dress up, I definitely would have been something only slightly less stupid than that. As someone who is really good at just waiting for opportunities to fall into her lap, I don’t generally enjoy putting effort into things.

So I feel like I better start thinking of costume ideas for my future kids right now. Otherwise, sending them to school on Halloween wrapped black garbage bags and claiming that they are discarded dumpster corpses from Law & Order SVU might happen. More than once.  But if you think about it, that’s really a pretty versatile costume. The garbage bag can also be used to store the candy they collect, and when they get older, they can put on tube tops, smear lipstick across their faces and be slutty dumpster corpses (which might actually be more authentic!).