Guess what? I was on the NBC 5 Chicago news last night! Did you see it?
Because I didn’t.
Yesterday I decided to go to Corner Bakery for lunch. As I was walking along Michigan Avenue, dodging tourists, fixing my bangs (it was windy) and trying to decide if I should get the chopped salad with or without bleu cheese, a handsome young fellow with a microphone that had a blue logo on it (remember that!) popped up in front of me and asked me what I thought about “robocalling.”
Yes, that’s what I said. “Uhh…”
Then I went on to mumble some stuff about not wanting to pay for things I didn’t ask for and ignoring calls from numbers I don’t recognize. I can’t remember. I got distracted when I realized the camera guy was focusing in on my bad side, which is my right side thanks to some weird bangs-looking-like-sideburns issue I have going on right now. (Again with the bangs!)
Anyway, I was fairly certain I would NOT make it on air because I’m clearly an idiot who is uninformed about robocalling (Robots can call us on the phone now!? Can they clean bathrooms yet?). Also, my attempt to slowly rotate my right side away from the camera probably looked kind of creepy.
BUT wouldn’t you know, a little after 5 pm yesterday, Will gets a text from his friend Dan that he saw me on the news! Great! Actually, not great! I’m not a fan of looking like a ditz in public!
So, I rushed to make it home in time for the 6:00 news on CBS – they have a blue logo right? – to assess the damage. And I made it! And I watched. And I did not see myself. Unless the way I view myself is so unrealistic and distorted that I can’t even recognize my own image on TV, but NO! That was not the case.
Turns out, it was on NBC.
Excuse me, but isn’t their logo a colorful peacock of sorts?? They have no business using a blue logo on their microphone, amiright?
So I was pissed, but no matter – I was sure it would be posted on online.
All of the other NBC news stories from that day (all of them!) were posted, but the video about robocalling? Just a 3 minute clip of Attorney General Lisa Madigan going “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.” Ridiculous. And of course the story wasn’t sexy enough to make the lineup on the flashy 10:00 news.
So I missed what might be my only chance in life to see how stupid I really look to other people.
Did any of you happen to see it?? If so, please just tell me that I looked like a supermodel and spoke with the wit and intelligence of Tina Fey. (Even if I actually looked like Tina Fey and spoke with the wit and intelligence of a supermodel.)
(Not that it’s bad to look like Tina Fey!)