Check out our new digs

Posted on January 27, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

As you know, Will and I moved all of our stuff to a new apartment in Chicago at the beginning of this month, and I have been unpacking ever since.

Well it looks as though I might finally be done! Almost. I still have a few bags/boxes that I threw in the closet and haven’t dealt with yet. But their contents are not of high importance to my everyday life, so guess what? They’re going to stay in the closet for awhile.

Also, I haven’t touched Will’s “Man Room.” Yes, Will has a Man Room. Aren’t I a good wife? He doesn’t even live here yet, and I already have an entire room of our apartment dedicated to his gender. Currently, it is filled with piles of law books, sporting equipment and various gaming consoles. So trash, basically. And I’m not touching it.

Anyway, the point of this post is that our apartment is finally starting to look like a home, and I wanted to share it with you! When you spend hours upon hours of your life moving, hanging and organizing stuff you kind of want to show off the final product.

So without further ado…

Here’s the living room!

That’s Gatsby on the couch, not an erect Beanie Baby or creepy porcelain figurine. He’s all, “Oh heeey, what’s going on? You’re photographing me in my natural habitat? If I had known, I would have straightened up a bit and put on my red velvet smoking jacket. I guess you’ll just have to settle for me looking debonair, relaxing on the couch with my perfect posture. Thank God I used Crest White Strips last night. Can I offer you an aperitif?”

So you see that Gatsby has certainly made himself at home.

As an interesting side note, I have some photos of what the apartment looked like when the tenants before us lived here. Here’s their version of the living room (Please excuse the photo quality. It’s bad when cameras get wet. Now you know why.) :

What do you think? I do love their coffee table. And the huge mirror. And the pink chair. Will would throw a major hissy if I ever suggested buying a pink chair. Gatsby, on the other hand, would appreciate the nice pop of color it brings to the room.

Here’s another view of OUR living room:

Gatsy: “Oh hey wait, now you’re taking a picture from another angle? I just happened to be heading up to the top of the couch. I guess I’ll allow one more photograph. See how I cross my legs in front of me like a true gentleman?”

And here’s the old living room from the same angle:

They had a lot of plants. And a bird! These people were cultured.

And here are some photos of other rooms in the apartment that looked presentable at the time when I was walking around with my camera:

Dining room

Gatsby's dining room

Bathroom

Bedroom

Oh, suddenly Gatsby’s turned shy.

So that’s the tour of our new place! There’s another bathroom, an office area, and of course the Man Room, but those parts aren’t suitable for public viewing yet.

Hopefully sometime this spring, we’ll have a housewarming party, and if I know you and am comfortable welcoming you to our place of residence, you might be invited!

Happy day-before-Friday!

Fridge facts

Posted on January 21, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

Right now the wind chill in Chicago is -10 degrees.

Also, everyone seems to be all up in arms about the Chinese president shutting down River North and messing up their commute, but I didn’t have any problems or notice anything going on. I was too busy making sure I could still feel my extremities and pretending I was on a beach in Maui.

When I imagined that the overweight guy trudging in front of me was actually a Hawaiian native carrying a tiki torch and beckoning me to follow him to a luau and pig roast, I actually started to feel a little warm.

It’s all about state of mind, people.

Anyway, this freezing cold weather reminds me of refrigerators, which reminds me of a conversation Will and I had with our friends Cynthia and Rick (Shout out: What up Cynthia and Rick!?) at brunch last weekend.

I don’t know how we got on the subject, but at one point Will blurted out that the contents of my refrigerator are shameful, or something to that effect (thanks for the support, hubby!).

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but I began listing out everything in my fridge, and that list went something like this:

Brita water pitcher
Butter
Leftover Thai food
Tortillas
Bottle of champagne
Shredded cheddar cheese
Ranch dressing
A half full bottle of Gatorade

That’s. It.

So what do the contents of my fridge say about me?

I think the answer is clearly that I am either a bachelor or a frat boy. But my refrigerator better watch what it’s saying because obviously that’s not true. (Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Fridge!)

It seems that people who have their life in order generally tend to go grocery shopping on a regular basis. At this point, that is not me.

Sadly, I still seem somewhat incapable of completing everyday lifestyle-related tasks in a timely manner.

But I’m making progress! This week, I did some responsible organized things like get our utility bills in order and take out the trash (and recycling!). Next week, I hope to vacuum the apartment, blog more and maybe buy some food.

We’ll see.

If you need me, I’ll be in my new kitchen deciding where to put this crock pot I’ve never used.

Posted on January 4, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

Last week was a bit crazy.

Long story short, we packed up our St. Louis apartment, loaded everything into a Uhaul truck in the middle of a tornado (yes, a real tornado, not a figurative tornado of activity or emotions), drove to Chicago on New Year’s Eve, fell asleep before midnight, and moved into our new place in Chicago on New Years Day.

And now I am unpacking. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Seriously, I think the boxes are somehow multiplying.

Throughout all of this, two things crossed my mind:

1. I really wish I was more of a minimalist.

2. I really hope we love this new apartment because as of right now, I never ever want to move again in my life ever.

So, while I’m trying to make progress and hoping I don’t lose Gatsby under an avalanche of boxes, I will be continuing my holiday blog hiatus for the rest of this week.

Happy 2011 and Bachelor premier week, everyone!!

I’ll be back.

Kids write the darndest things

Posted on December 20, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

While living with my parents this past month, I’ve found several things to amuse myself.

1. Since the P’s have the premium cable package from U-verse, I’ve been able to watch Boardwalk Empire on-demand. Love.

2. My completely clueless mother. Who says things like this:

Mom: Can you proofread my Christmas letter? I’ve spent the past 3 hours typing it up on the computer but haven’t saved it yet because I wanted you to read it first.

Me: ??? !!!

Mom: Eminem is white!?

Me: ??? !!!

Mom: (every time I get a notification on my phone): Is that one of those crazy tweets?

Me: No. You’re a crazy tweet.

3. Because my parents never throw anything away, I’ve been able to look back at everything I’ve ever written since I was about 4 years old. This has proven to be endlessly entertaining. Here are some examples (spelling errors not corrected):

My Famly

By: 2nd grade me

My family is very nice. I have four people in my family. Shannon, Mom, Dad and me.

Sometimes I get mad at my sister Shannon but I say sorry.

My mom is having her vains taken care of on her legs.

Sometimes she gets craby becose of that.

Excerpt from my “Beezus and Ramona Diary” circa 1989

Q: If I earned a million dollars, this is what I would do with it:

My answer: Make everyone in the whole wold rich and happy espeshly bums.

Q: The thing that made me laugh the hardest this year was:

My answer: When Shannon threw up.

Why Does It Always Have to Be Me?

A short story by 2nd grade me

Being the biggest sister is really hard. I can tell you that. When I want to do something in my room all by myself, up comes the big fat brat Shannon.

And she says, “Cowie, go and get me a graham cracker.” And I say, “No!”

And when she does something wrong, my mom always blames it on me.

When I play with a friend, she has to play too. There are so many things that are bad about being the big sister.

Shannon is annoying too. And she’s only in four-year-old preschool. So I’m three years older than her.

And last night I asked my mom if I could stay up later than her. And she said, “No!” And my bed time is 8:00 and that’s early.

But sometimes I like being the oldest because I get to boss Shannon around.

When We Moved to Wheaton

By: 1st grade me

When we moved to Wheaton I was crying my eyes out. Becouse my best friend still lived at Carol Stream.

When we got to the new house I met a girl named Debbie, and a girl named Emma, and a girl named Elana and a boy named Mikel.

Me and Debbie our good firends becase Emma moved and Mikel and Elana well we just don’t see them very much.

The pepole that moved into the house that Emma had lived in are very nice.

Ther names are Linda and John. Linda is almost eleven so is Debbie.

Thay thingk I’m pretty cute. I think I am too not to brag or anything but I do.

Poem #1

By: 1st grade me

I have a little firend that lives in my house.

For she is a little mouse.

She eats chease all day and night.

She eats chease when the sun is bright.

The mouse is realy my sister.

Poem #2

By: 1st grade me

Cats cats ther such brats.

They chase those awful durdy rats.

And evry day they purr purr purr

And all ways scater furr furr furr.

But somtims I like those cats you see

Becose sometims thay like me.

Poem #3

By: 1st grade me

Some times I like my sister

And sometims I don’t.

She crys and crys and crys

And she allmost pops out her eyes.

Sometimes I get so mad I cry to dad.

Then I punch her.

Little Burnt-Face

By: 3rd grade me

Once upon a time ther lived a man with his three daghters.

The yongest one was nice and sweet. But whe ther father went hunting her sisters would burn her face and make scars.

And she got in trouble. And that is how she got her name Little Burnt Face.

One day the chife who was invisaball said that if a girl could see him she would merry him.

The chief’s sisster could only see him.

Evreyone tried to see him but they could not.

When it was Little Burnt-Faces turn she could see him very well and tolled what she saw.

The cheif’s sisster washed her scars of in in the dew.

And then she merrirred the chief and they lived happly ever after.

Ok, that last one was a little disturbing. It took me four times to finally spell the word “chief” correctly??

Pathetic.

Slipping into winter

Posted on December 13, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

It’s official. Winter is upon us.

And before you push your duct-taped glasses up on your nose and get all nerdy on me and insist that the above sentence is misleading and uninformed and completely false because the winter solstice has technically not occurred yet, I will say this to you: I do not care.

Winter solstice be damned, everything about the weather outside is categorically winter-y. Wind. Freezing temps. Runny noses. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Snow. Ice.

Ice.

🙂 🙂 🙂

<That’s me grinning mischievously and rubbing my hands together in evil delight.>

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love ice, by any means. It’s just that I love watching people fall down (as long as they don’t get hurt), and ice is very good at making that happen.

If you’re asking yourself, “Is this post just about how much Carlie loves to watch people slipping on ice?” then I will answer that question right now: Yes. It is.

So if this topic bores you, save yourself some time and go check your email or something.

Now back to people falling. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Nothing puts a smile on my face and makes me involuntarily laugh out loud like wildly flailing limbs, terror-struck faces and innocent backsides meeting with the cold, harsh reality of frozen concrete.

It truly warms my heart, even on the most frigid of winter days.

Don’t make me feel bad, I know I’m not the only one who finds humor in unsuspecting individuals suddenly biting it. Hard. <heehee>

In fact, this YouTube video of a parade of people being dominated by a single patch of ice in Madison, WI inspired me to write this post and was posted on Facebook by my friend Kelly (What up, Kelly!!?). She gets a shout-out because she reads this blog. Or at least that’s what she tells me…

But I have to admit, watching a video of people falling on ice is a lot more fun than actually witnessing someone fall down right in front of me. I guess that’s because I know the people in the video aren’t hurt and I’m also not obligated to inquire whether the person is ok while pretending not to notice their flustered embarrassment. Awkward.

Also, let’s be clear – people falling on ice is only funny when it happens to other people – not me.

With those disclaimers out of the way, let’s get back to the endlessly entertaining sight of a complete stranger who is at the mercy of frozen liquid and gravity.

Why is it so funny? I don’t really know, but I do know that it’s even more entertaining when the person is carrying something. Like a wedding cake. Or a very large open can of neon green paint. (Hey, it could happen…a girl can dream, right!?)

And the aftermath is almost as funny as the fall itself. It always goes down the same: The stunned silence. The sinking in of the realization that yes, they are still alive. The casual, yet furtive glances in every direction to assess who, if anyone, saw the fall. The embarrassment. The slow and careful rise to their feet (and if we’re lucky, sometimes they fall again!). Then finally, the brushing off of the rear end and quick exit from the scene.

Comic gold.

If that description doesn’t make you smile just a little bit, then I’m actually not a very good writer, or you have no sense of humor. And let’s be honest…one of those statements is just ridiculous.

So all I’m saying is that if you want to make the world a happier place, cover the soles of your shoes with teflon, grab a cup of coffee with no lid and go run around on an icy sidewalk.*

*But you may want to wear some padding or something because, again – I do not enjoy people getting hurt. I’m not that evil.

Bored, huh?

Posted on December 3, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

So obviously I haven’t been writing too many blog posts lately. I warned you this might happen.

My life has suddenly become a whirlwind of:

wake up at the crack of dawn. shower. train. bundle up. walk to work. unbundle as fast as possible because walking briskly in a massive down coat, boots, gloves and a hat actually makes me HOT. check email. do work. go to a meeting. do work. go to a meeting. lunch. meeting. work. meeting. meeting. walk to train station. train. eat dinner. check craigslist for apartments. watch a TV show (if I’m lucky!). bed.

So not much room for writing in there.

Since I’m sure you’re thinking these exact words: “Oh no! Now that there’s very little new material on Carlie Crash these days, whatever shall I do with my free time?”

(p.s. You sound like a pansy.)

I thought I’d give you a list of things to do to occupy the time you would otherwise fill by pouring over the entrancing contents of this blog.

So please, don’t despair. Just think. Instead of fixating your lookin’ balls to the harsh glare of a computer screen, you could:

Crochet a scarf! I used to do this in college when all of my friends were studying and making disparaging remarks about me not studying, but hey, I was an English major, we write papers, people. Lay off. Anyway, I now have about 8 long, scraggly strips of crocheted yarn that I never ever wear – and you could too!

Take a new Facebook profile picture. Yes, you look adorable/creepy/hilarious in your Halloween costume, but that’s SO not relevant anymore. And…that is your Halloween costume…right?

Send me a Christmas card! Care of my parents’ address, thankyouverymuch. I love Christmas cards! Especially ones with pictures. Or candy. Or cash. Lots of cash. I don’t get too many of those. I guess maybe that’s not a thing? Let’s make it a thing! Be the epitome of cool this Christmas and get on the ground floor of a hot new tradition – sending me cash! Everyone’s doing it – don’t be left out!

Buy some seasonal outfits for your pets and take pictures of them so you can share their misery with all of your friends. Don’t have a pet? Buy a pet. That should keep you busy for awhile.

Make a detailed, to-scale model of downtown Chicago using only pretzel dough and toothpicks. And don’t ever tell me you’re bored again.

So there you go. And just as quickly and mysteriously as I appeared in your Facebook feed or Google Reader, I shall retire into the obscure abyss of the internet, leaving you to breathlessly await my return…

Oh, the thankfulness!

Posted on November 24, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

Happy almost-Thanksgiving!

I decided this post should be a list of things I’m thankful for.

Truly uncreative, I know, but at least I get points in the relevance category. And I get to make yet another list!

Side note: I’m going to leave off all of the obvious stuff like family, friends, health, blah blah blah…just assume that I’m very thankful for all of those wonderful things/people. I’m trying to make this a little more interesting for you.

10 Things for Which I am Thankful – 2010 edition

(and so far the only edition)

1. Uggs, scarves, hats, and hooded coats. All of these things help me to stay warm and alive during my walks between the train station and work every morning/night.

Here's me all bundled up. What's that you say? I look exactly like Leighton Meester, the talented, fresh-faced actress from Gossip Girl? Why, thank you!

2. Work. Or more specifically, my new job. I’ve actually enjoyed all of my previous jobs, but I’m finally in a position where I think my strengths and skills will be put to good use. Also, we have happy hours every Thursday and the company closes between Christmas and New Year’s. So that’s fun too.

3. The change of seasons. Because it means that winter in Chicago will eventually be over. Someday…

4. Champagne. Or prosecco. Or cava. Or whatever. I just love it all. Without it, my life would be a little less sparkling. (Bam! Pun intended!)

5. The fact that the rude gray hairs I recently found on my head could be easily and swiftly removed.

6. Trendy nail polish colors. They keep me from being bored and add a little prettiness to my warped, prematurely aging hands. (My hands really are kind of hideous when you look at them closely. Please don’t do this the next time you see me. Oh great! Now I’m going to be self-conscious.)

7. Gloves.

8. Cute, oversized mugs filled with coffee or green tea. Or hot chocolate. With peppermint Schnapps.

9. Modern Family. Real Housewives. How I Met Your Mother. Giuliana & Bill. 30 Rock. TV. In general. I’m just thankful for TV.

10. Blogs. Both because I love writing one and because I love reading what other people write. The weird thing is, I only just started paying attention to the “blogosphere” less than a year ago. I’ve even made some new blogger “friends.” And have apparently become a huge dork. Eh, oh well – so worth it.

And to wrap it all up, here’s the cheesy part! (Sorry, but being cheesy is unavoidable when discussing thankfulness.)

I’m also thankful for everyone who reads this blog! Without you, writing these posts would be pointless, delusional, and somewhat schizophrenic.

Dust off those gravy boats and electric carving knives! It’s turkey time!

P.S. I’m actually not a huge fan of turkey, so for me it’s mashed potatoes, cranberries, and pumpkin pie time! YUM.

Commuting blues (Alternate title: Commuting blows)

Posted on November 18, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

So here I am in Chicago!

Actually, right now I’m in Wheaton, about 30 miles outside of Chicago.

That’s the problem.

I’m commuting to my new job downtown. Which is great! The job – not the commuting. And I can’t even imagine how much I’ll enjoy it once I figure out what the heck I’m doing.

But back to the commuting: I am SO over it. My commute is almost an hour and a half one way. <cue the violins>

As I write this, it’s 7:47 on Wednesday night and I just got home. All I’ve had time to do so far tonight is eat the dinner that my mother lovingly prepared for me and put away the laundry that my mother lovingly washed and folded for me (ok, there are some perks to this situation).

I’ll be honest. All I want to do right now is have a glass of red wine and watch the episode of Glee that I didn’t have time to watch last night. It was good, right? I swear, at least 5 of my friends haved quoted it in their Facebook status.

But then there’s this blog. And the last thing I want to do is neglect it. I love this blog! Because who doesn’t love talking about themselves? Or more specifically, who doesn’t love talking about me?

Now that I’m done being self-absorbed (or at least talking about it), I’ll get to the point:

There’s a very good chance that instead of exploiting this blog to spout my pointless musings, I may very well not have the time to post much on it. Abuse and neglect – I’m a horrible blog parent. Please don’t call DBWS (Department of Blog and Writing Services) on me.

Ok, can you tell I’m tired? I’m not even sure that last paragraph made sense. And I don’t care.

But don’t worry, I really am going to try my best to continue to blog as much as possible. I just wanted to issue a preemptive apology in case I go through a few writing dry spells due to this inflexible time suck called a commute.

Also, this situation is temporary! We should have an apartment in the city by January. This fact alone is motivating me to board the train with the rest of my cattle herd companions every morning and night instead of throwing myself in front of it.

So that’s my update for now! Sorry for the negativity. With the exception of the commute and the fact that I miss my husband and my dog who are stuck in St. Louis, everything else is great! Really. I’m not being sarcastic. I’m super happy to be back in Chicago and actually excited to be at work everyday. I’m just not excited to go to work.

Ok, enough of this. Time for Glee!

Movin’ on up

Posted on November 10, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

Tomorrow is moving day!

I’m packing up the Stratus (and Will’s Honda) and moving on up to Chicago from St. Louis. I’ve been packing my stuff since Monday and am only about 1/4 of the way done. So today might suck a little.

As much as I’d love to keep procrastinating, I really don’t have much time, so I’ll provide you with some of my thoughts on this whole moving situation in the form of a numbered list. (I love lists. Oh, you want proof? Check it: here, here, here, and here.)

1. Everything about moving to Chicago is exciting and great, nay – GREAT!, except that Will and Gatsby can’t come with me right away. Major sad face. Will has to finish up his job in St. Louis (and subsequently find a new one in Chicago), so I’ll be husbandless and dogless and traveling back and forth between Chicago and St. Louis for the next month and a half. I’m officially in a long distance relationship. Ew. Thank God it will be holiday season or I might be seeking a subscription for Xanax right about now.

2. I’m moving in with my parents for the next month and a half. This is good because my parents love to spend time with me and do things for me (I’m spoiled). This is bad because my parents love to spend time with me and do things for me (I’m not 10 years old anymore). We’ll see how it goes. My major concern? I may need to cut down on some of the TV shows I watch because their DVR is full of crime dramas and weird Sci-Fi shows that my dad loves but I’ve never even heard of. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills might have to be put on hold. Oh man, now I really might need that Xanax…

3. I’m so excited to start my new job! SO excited. I’ll be working as an editor/copywriter for an ad agency downtown. Waaaaayyy cooler than working on nursing textbooks at a publishing company in the middle of nowhere across the street from a landfill.

4. I’m a bit nervous to start my new job. Mostly because I’ll probably have to take a bus from the train station to get there, and I don’t think I’ve ever ridden a bus in Chicago before. I’ve taken the El pretty much everywhere you can take it, but the bus and I have yet to be acquainted. I think I’m going to go downtown on Friday and ride it somewhere. For practice. I’m serious.

5. Ooh, here’s another thing I’m really excited about: I know people in Chicago! A lot of people! We have friends and family out the wazoo up there. If you want to hang out with me, you better get on the schedule now – my social calendar is filling up! (Actually, no. It’s not. The only plans I have so far is to see a play. With my parents.) But still. I’ll miss my friends in St. Louis and the family we have there, but it will be nice to be have a wide variety of friends hang out with. I tire of people easily. (That’s not true either – I just wanted to say that. It’s delightfully snobby.)

6. I got STUCK in a heavy winter coat at Nordstrom Rack the other day. Wait- this is related. I decided that I need to get one of those massive puffy down coats that make you feel like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters because people actually need to wear those things in Chicago. I’m cold just thinking about it. Anyway, I was out shopping and decided to try on an especially puffy and warm one last weekend. I hastily zipped it all the way up to my chin, checked myself out in the mirror, yelled out “Hey everyone, come see how good I look!” (ok, no, I didn’t do that), and when I went to remove the coat, the unthinkable happened. The zipper got stuck! Like MAJORLY stuck. As panic set in, I yanked, and twisted and pulled with all my might, but to no avail. I WAS TRAPPED IN A GIGANTIC FURNACE OF A COAT IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED STORE ON A BALMY 75-DEGREE DAY!! More panicking. Once I became certain that I was in the beginning stages of heat stroke, I ran up to the nearest employee and pleaded for her help. Long story short, she couldn’t get it, her manager couldn’t get it, and I was rushed to the alterations department where they had to literally cut the coat open to free me from its hellish, sweaty grip. I’m still a little traumatized by the situation. And I now have an intense appreciation for buttons.

7. Packing is the worst. Just the worst. If you’ve ever moved, I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on this.

8. Even though I’ve been wanting to move back to Chicago pretty much since I decided to move to St. Louis, I’m actually going to miss this cute little city. It’s got some things going for it. There are 8 things in particular that I am especially going to miss, as evidenced by my recent Girls Guide post. (I love lists and shameless plugs!)

So those are my thoughts on moving at the moment. I think they can best be summed up with these words: Excited! Husbandless! Xanax! So excited! Nervous! HOT!

Moving day is tomorrow. My first day at the new job is Monday. I’ll let you know how it goes…

Fun with a Halloween photo booth

Posted on November 1, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

At the Halloween party we went to last Friday night, our friends Brandy and Derek set up a photo booth program on their computer and we became obsessed.

Here’s what happened: