Personally, I prefer the seasons of the year when the trees actually have leaves. But while walking to meet my friend Laura for coffee yesterday, I noticed that there’s something to be appreciated about gnarled, naked winter tree limbs highlighted by fresh snow. Against the gray glow of the sky, the branches almost look like a thriving network of human veins.
Gross.
But cool.
These signs are all over the city right now:
Can someone please explain to me exactly how to be cautious in this situation?
Should I suspiciously eye the top of the skyscraper as I walk by?
Should I run past in a quick zigzag motion?
Should I flatten myself against the side of the building and carefully inch my way across?
Should I find something large and heavy to carry over my head? Wear a helmet? Surround myself in a protective shield of ice-melting fire?
Whichever option I choose, I think it’s clear that if you come across me taking caution against falling ice, you yourself should also be cautious – of me.
Image via
It’s a pathetic amount (by Chicago standards) and will be completely gone in a few hours, but this is officially the first snow I’ve seen this season!
Fantastic. Now that we have that over with, can we just and move on to warm weather and summer now?
No?
“Forecasters predict warmer, drier than normal fall — but cold, wet winter could follow.”
I think I just set the record for fastest transition from smiling to frowning.
When I stepped off the elevator into the lobby at work this morning, I was greeted by this sentence on one of those velcro sign boards:
WINTER IS COMING.
Now is that really necessary? How about we enjoy fall first?
As if I wasn’t already sad that I’m not on vacation anymore.
Whoever posted that might as well have just said DEATH IS COMING.
Which is actually slightly less depressing.
It’s official. Winter is upon us.
And before you push your duct-taped glasses up on your nose and get all nerdy on me and insist that the above sentence is misleading and uninformed and completely false because the winter solstice has technically not occurred yet, I will say this to you: I do not care.
Winter solstice be damned, everything about the weather outside is categorically winter-y. Wind. Freezing temps. Runny noses. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Snow. Ice.
Ice.
🙂 🙂 🙂
<That’s me grinning mischievously and rubbing my hands together in evil delight.>
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love ice, by any means. It’s just that I love watching people fall down (as long as they don’t get hurt), and ice is very good at making that happen.
If you’re asking yourself, “Is this post just about how much Carlie loves to watch people slipping on ice?” then I will answer that question right now: Yes. It is.
So if this topic bores you, save yourself some time and go check your email or something.
Now back to people falling. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Nothing puts a smile on my face and makes me involuntarily laugh out loud like wildly flailing limbs, terror-struck faces and innocent backsides meeting with the cold, harsh reality of frozen concrete.
It truly warms my heart, even on the most frigid of winter days.
Don’t make me feel bad, I know I’m not the only one who finds humor in unsuspecting individuals suddenly biting it. Hard. <heehee>
In fact, this YouTube video of a parade of people being dominated by a single patch of ice in Madison, WI inspired me to write this post and was posted on Facebook by my friend Kelly (What up, Kelly!!?). She gets a shout-out because she reads this blog. Or at least that’s what she tells me…
But I have to admit, watching a video of people falling on ice is a lot more fun than actually witnessing someone fall down right in front of me. I guess that’s because I know the people in the video aren’t hurt and I’m also not obligated to inquire whether the person is ok while pretending not to notice their flustered embarrassment. Awkward.
Also, let’s be clear – people falling on ice is only funny when it happens to other people – not me.
With those disclaimers out of the way, let’s get back to the endlessly entertaining sight of a complete stranger who is at the mercy of frozen liquid and gravity.
Why is it so funny? I don’t really know, but I do know that it’s even more entertaining when the person is carrying something. Like a wedding cake. Or a very large open can of neon green paint. (Hey, it could happen…a girl can dream, right!?)
And the aftermath is almost as funny as the fall itself. It always goes down the same: The stunned silence. The sinking in of the realization that yes, they are still alive. The casual, yet furtive glances in every direction to assess who, if anyone, saw the fall. The embarrassment. The slow and careful rise to their feet (and if we’re lucky, sometimes they fall again!). Then finally, the brushing off of the rear end and quick exit from the scene.
Comic gold.
If that description doesn’t make you smile just a little bit, then I’m actually not a very good writer, or you have no sense of humor. And let’s be honest…one of those statements is just ridiculous.
So all I’m saying is that if you want to make the world a happier place, cover the soles of your shoes with teflon, grab a cup of coffee with no lid and go run around on an icy sidewalk.*
*But you may want to wear some padding or something because, again – I do not enjoy people getting hurt. I’m not that evil.
Carlie Crash 