I can walk and think at the same time

So our trip to Vegas was fun and I actually took pictures, but I actually did not have time to upload them. So stay tuned for that.

This morning, I got to my bus stop just in time to see the #11 bus speeding by without hesitation. I’m pretty sure the driver’s foot wasn’t even hovering over the brake, and I think he/she blew a stop sign. In front of an elementary school. Lucky for everyone, this post is not about how I watched a kid die this morning. But it very well could have been! <sternly wagging finger>

I stood helplessly at the curb for a moment, inhaling the exhaust fumes from the blur of speeding metal that was supposed to be my ride to work and yelling “Eff you, bus!” inside my head. (Swearing comes very unnaturally to me. Apparently I don’t even feel comfortable swearing to myself. Doggone it, what the heck is wrong with me?) Then I decided to just take the train. Which meant I’d have to do more walking. And when I walk, I think.

So, since I haven’t posted a list of random thoughts in awhile, I thought I’d invite you into my head to see some of the things that crossed my mind as I hoofed through the city this morning.

1. When it’s cold and sunny out, the people walking the streets of Chicago look like an army of Unabombers. Everywhere you go, hoods are up, sunglasses are on. Everyone looks a little shifty. And everyone walks briskly and looks straight ahead as if to say “Don’t mess with me or I will straight up Unabomb you.”

Image from Cornell College

2. Speaking of hoods, I have absolutely no peripheral vision when I have mine on. When I need to see something that’s not straight ahead of me, I have to turn my entire body. So I look like a Unabomber on a swivel stick.

3. One more thing about hoods – it’s spring, why am I still wearing one?? Oh yeah, I moved to Chicago. I’m pretty sure I did not even own a jacket with a hood the entire time I lived in St. Louis. But I lived in St. Louis…so I guess you win some, you lose some.

4. AAAGGHHH! EWWW! (This is what I thought when I got a piece of hair stuck to my lip gloss that was blonde and curly and NOT MINE. Thank God I breathe through my nose and my mouth was closed! I guess when you wear sticky lip gloss you are susceptible to attracting any small piece of matter floating in the wind. Lesson learned.)

5. What’s the difference between a latte and a cappuccino?

6. My Firefox browser on my home computer suddenly won’t let me hit the “back” button to go the site I was at previously. I’m not sure people can truly understand how annoying this is. I think it might be the biggest problem in my life right now. I don’t have a lot of problems right now.

7. I’m sleepy. I could really use some Boyz II Men Motown Philly up in here right now.

Image from McFly MusicinLife

8. I prefer revolving doors to regular ones, but they can be awkward sometimes. Like when it’s moving and you can just barely squeeze into the section going by, do you go for it? Or just wait a second for the next section  to come around?

And then I got to my desk and my thoughts became normal again.

Happy Friday!

Brain lottery – everyone’s a winner!

Worky work, busy bee! That’s me today. I’m trying to get a bunch of stuff done (including this blog post over my lunch break) because I’m going to be out of commission for the rest of the week.

I don’t know about you, but I love it when “out of commission” means going on vacation and not having surgery.

Twenty-four hours from now, I hope to be relaxing on the beach, drinking a mojito, and hopefully not worrying that my spray tan looks uneven. Oh the joys of being naturally un-tannable.

So, since my mind is full of everything I have to do and racing at about 100 mph right now (I know, I’m a reckless thinker!), I’ve decided to just compile a quick list of random thoughts. It’s the Carlie Crash Lottery. Think of my brain as the clear plastic lottery ball holder thingy and the thoughts as the numbered ping pong balls. Who knows what’s going to pop up?? My mind is like a box of chocolates. Enjoy.

Random Thoughts

1. I’ve discovered that it is my fate to never run out of lotion at work. For the past 5 years, I’ve always kept one of those mini bottles of Bath & Body Works lotion at my desk. The crazy thing? I haven’t purchased a single one of them myself. They’ve all been given to me. Every time I’m almost out of one, I receive another one as a gift. Example: I literally had about 2 squirts left in my current mini bottle on Friday. On Saturday, I went to a baby shower. The favors? Mini lotions. It’s weird. And convenient. Thank you, God of Mini Lotions. I am truly blessed.


2. Do you know someone who always walks on their tiptoes? I do. Well, I don’t really know her but I see her at my office all time. I’m sure she’s a very nice person, but I’m concerned for the welfare of her feet. She always walks on her tiptoes! Kind of like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Maybe she feels that heels are overrated. Maybe she’s right. But I doubt it.

3. My dog was making some really weird noises this morning. He gets a little anxious when he can tell I’m about to leave for work. Not because he’s going to miss me, but because I always give him a treat. This morning, the agony of suspense really got to him. It was like he was growling, barking and crying all at the same time. It actually sounded like he was trying to form words. What’s the deal Gatsby? You know I don’t speak Spanish.

4. Sometimes I’ll do something and I’ll think to myself, “that is so Raven.”

Ok, that random thought is actually courtesy of Zach Galifianakis on SNL, but I just thought of it and it amused me.

5. I love putting up my email out-of-office message at work. It’s like telling everyone who wants me to do something to “talk to the hand.”

Ok, that’s it. My brain is fried. I need a nap. Or a vacation. I’ll take the latter!