A tiny dog’s revenge

Posted on October 21, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

In what I think was an attempt at payback for waking him up to take this photo last night, Gatsby decided to assault us this morning.

As soon as the alarm went off, he sprung from underneath the covers and dive-bombed our faces, licking everything within reach of his (strangely long) tongue.

Then he barked incessantly at who-knows-what all morning, and cried when I yelled at him and threatened him with the spray bottle (water messes up his hair). And then he started barking again.

All I can say is that it’s a good thing he’s The Cutest Dog In the World.

A dog never forgets

Posted on September 6, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

When we were in St. Louis last weekend, we took a day to go back to our old neighborhood. We’ve only been gone 8 months, but for some reason I was thinking it might have changed since then. It totally hasn’t. It’s exactly the same – just the way I liked it.

We met some friends for lunch at Katie’s Pizza, an old standby for us. Then we walked around the ‘hood, past our old apartment. It was at this point that Gatsby experienced temporary amnesia and ran up the steps of our old place with a look on his face like “come on guys, we’re home!”

We had to drag him back down the steps and tell him that it might be weird for us to walk up there with him since we do not, in fact, live there anymore. He was confused for a minute until he found something exciting to pee on and forgot about the whole thing.

Our literal walk down figurative memory lane made us a little thirsty, so we stopped at our all time favorite place, Sasha’s, for a drink. Sasha’s might be the place I miss the most in St. Louis. We still haven’t found a wine bar in Chicago that quite measures up – but we of course plan on continuing our meticulous research and field work until we do.

Check out our new digs

Posted on January 27, 2011 by carlieblissirwin

As you know, Will and I moved all of our stuff to a new apartment in Chicago at the beginning of this month, and I have been unpacking ever since.

Well it looks as though I might finally be done! Almost. I still have a few bags/boxes that I threw in the closet and haven’t dealt with yet. But their contents are not of high importance to my everyday life, so guess what? They’re going to stay in the closet for awhile.

Also, I haven’t touched Will’s “Man Room.” Yes, Will has a Man Room. Aren’t I a good wife? He doesn’t even live here yet, and I already have an entire room of our apartment dedicated to his gender. Currently, it is filled with piles of law books, sporting equipment and various gaming consoles. So trash, basically. And I’m not touching it.

Anyway, the point of this post is that our apartment is finally starting to look like a home, and I wanted to share it with you! When you spend hours upon hours of your life moving, hanging and organizing stuff you kind of want to show off the final product.

So without further ado…

Here’s the living room!

That’s Gatsby on the couch, not an erect Beanie Baby or creepy porcelain figurine. He’s all, “Oh heeey, what’s going on? You’re photographing me in my natural habitat? If I had known, I would have straightened up a bit and put on my red velvet smoking jacket. I guess you’ll just have to settle for me looking debonair, relaxing on the couch with my perfect posture. Thank God I used Crest White Strips last night. Can I offer you an aperitif?”

So you see that Gatsby has certainly made himself at home.

As an interesting side note, I have some photos of what the apartment looked like when the tenants before us lived here. Here’s their version of the living room (Please excuse the photo quality. It’s bad when cameras get wet. Now you know why.) :

What do you think? I do love their coffee table. And the huge mirror. And the pink chair. Will would throw a major hissy if I ever suggested buying a pink chair. Gatsby, on the other hand, would appreciate the nice pop of color it brings to the room.

Here’s another view of OUR living room:

Gatsy: “Oh hey wait, now you’re taking a picture from another angle? I just happened to be heading up to the top of the couch. I guess I’ll allow one more photograph. See how I cross my legs in front of me like a true gentleman?”

And here’s the old living room from the same angle:

They had a lot of plants. And a bird! These people were cultured.

And here are some photos of other rooms in the apartment that looked presentable at the time when I was walking around with my camera:

Dining room

Gatsby's dining room

Bathroom

Bedroom

Oh, suddenly Gatsby’s turned shy.

So that’s the tour of our new place! There’s another bathroom, an office area, and of course the Man Room, but those parts aren’t suitable for public viewing yet.

Hopefully sometime this spring, we’ll have a housewarming party, and if I know you and am comfortable welcoming you to our place of residence, you might be invited!

Happy day-before-Friday!

Gatsby goes to the beach

Posted on August 25, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

If you read my last post, you know that I was in Michigan last weekend.

What I failed to mention was that we brought Gatsby along for his very first vacation ever. He was getting a little stressed out (read: barking incessantly) by the evil mailman throwing paper through the door on a daily basis and the people in the neighborhood who dare to stroll past our house his fortress. We thought he could use a little R&R.

Turns out the beach isn’t as relaxing as it would seem when you’re a small dog who gets nervous in unfamiliar environments, eats sand, and hyperventilates when he gets wet. For Gatsby, the beach was about as fun as getting his nails trimmed. Lucky for us, there was no biting or loss of bowel control involved.

Here’s what I imagine he was thinking during his sandy adventure:

“Woohoo! What up, BEACH!? The Great Gatsby has arrived! I WILL DOMINATE YOU. This sand feels weird on my feet.”

“Hey, seagull. How’s it going? That’s a nice perch you’ve got up there, seagull. Good thing you’re not on the beach, or I would PULVERIZE you. Say hello to your mother for me.”

“Do doo dooo, walking on the beach… Wait. Umm…is that water right there? Hold the phone! HOLD THE F-ING PHONE!”

“Hello0000, McFly! I thought I’ve made it clear that I don’t DO water. Is this some kind of joke? This is a vacation? Someone go get my favorite blanket and a rawhide. Eeee! I think my fragile paw just got a little wet! This shit is bananas. I’m OUT.”

“Oh no. Oh HELL no. Do NOT take me in that water! Do you hear me? Not one step futher! Don’t you drop me… Christ on a cracker, this mother f-ing lake is mother f-ing freezing! I hate you all!”

<Shout out to Mad Men for that awesome “Christ on a cracker” catch phrase. Gatsby is a big fan.>

“Screw you guys. Not funny. Now my fur is all messed up and I can’t feel my nether regions. I would bite you if I could only stop shaking. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE REDUCED ME TO? This is completely unacceptable. I’m hiding your socks under the bed later. Don’t even try to stop me.”

“Uggh I’m wet! And sandy! Oh the humanity! I am RUINED. I have no choice but to resign myself to this foul fate. A hell most damp and unclean! Please – just go. I’m going to my happy place.”

“Huh. This sand doesn’t taste half bad.” <nom nom nom> “Really, it’s not bad at all. What’s that you say? Don’t eat it? OH YEAH??”

“Well take THIS, evil humans! I’m going to roll around and eat as much sand as I can and then poop it out and scatter it all over the house later! HA!”

“Revenge is mine, biatches! The Great Gatsby is victorious once again! Now will someone please go get my favorite blanket and a rawhide? How many times to I have to ask??”

“Oh, so now you’re going to make me sit here and pose for these ridiculous pictures? Screw you guys.”

At least I don’t have him as my Facebook profile picture

Posted on June 13, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

No, Will and I don’t have any biological human children, but we are the proud owners of one lil’ mister Gatsby Irwin, also known as our psuedo-child or The Cutest Dog in the World.

I may be wearing the rose-colored glasses of a proud “parent,” but Gatsby is 5 pounds of pure fun and entertainment. And here’s proof:

Most normal dogs I know devour their food in a matter of seconds without even bothering to chew half of it, but Gatsby likes to make it interesting. He eats each piece of dry dog food individually, after throwing it up in the air and stalking it as if our kitchen is the vast wild outdoors and the piece of food is an unfortunate field mouse. Check it out.