Don’t worry, I’m still alive…

And so is Nick!

Which is fantastic, since the very purpose of my existence these past couple of months has been to keep him that way.

Let me ask you something: are you aware that it’s already December? Because it’s taken me well over a week of being barraged by Christmas lights, trees and holiday-themed advertising to realize that it’s not October anymore. Somehow, that month has come and gone. And I’m pretty sure that for the very first time in history, November never happened at all.

So what have I been up to these past couple months? There’s been a lot of couch-sitting, daytime TV watching and not showering. And I’m exhausted. I guess I forgot to mention the feeding, pumping, soothing, playing and diaper changing.

On any given day, if you ask me what I’ve done during the past 12 hours, my response will most likely be “I have NO idea.” But you know what I actually did do? I survived. I may not know if it’s Monday or Saturday or what the weather is like outside, but I can tell you how many times Nick pooped and who the guests were on Ellen. So that’s something.

All in all, these past couple months have been pretty great. We’ve been blessed with a well-behaved kid who is exceptionally adorable and likes to sleep somewhat regularly.

Addendum: I started writing this post at the beginning of December. Two weeks later… it’s still not finished. This is pretty much how everything in my life is working right now. So while Nick is passed out in his swing, I’m going to hurry up and post this before he wakes up and another two weeks go by!

Oh, and here are some pics of Mr. Nickster because CUTENESS.

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Meet Nick

IMG_0382IMG_0395IMG_0412IMG_0442IMG_0446IMG_0457IMG_0465IMG_0472IMG_0483IMG_0462He’s here!

Nicholas David Irwin was born on October 9 at 5:43 pm, weighing in at 7 lbs, 10 oz of pure cuteness!

I’ll post more about the whole experience and how parenthood is going later (spoiler: I’ve been pleasantly surprised), but right now the dairy farm (me) is working overtime trying to get this little guy to bulk up! It’s all boobs, bottles and babies over here…

Making a human until October 2013

Yes, the rumors are true.

Ok, well I’m pretty sure no one is actually talking about this, but the fact remains that I am currently in the process of growing a spawn.

Yay! A baby! Let’s celebrate and prematurely buy onesies and stuffed animals because they’re too cute to resist! Let’s get all sentimental and philosophical and hormonal about love and parenting and raising a child!

And then let’s get real. I feel weird.

I have a person living inside of me, and I know because I saw it. I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant, and at our 12 week ultrasound I saw it all curled up, its little hands scrunched up around its little alien face. I saw it launch itself off the sides of my uterus with fragile little apendages resembling legs, and I think I screamed a little. Because that is just weird to see. It was moving around so much, but I couldn’t feel a thing. I just hope it gets more attractive before we’re properly introduced.

If you’ve been reading this blog from the very beginning, you may recall that I started it to chronicle my journey from a carefree, anti-babies twenty-something to someone who is suddenly mature enough and ready to have kids.

Well that transformation never happened. What did happen was that I turned 30. And then I found myself inching uncomfortably close to 31. And Will and I just knew it was time.

So here we are: me, fondly remembering that last glass of wine I had the evening of January 20, 2013 (I will never forget!); and Will, analyzing and re-analyzing our finances while suspiciously eyeing my bloated midsection. No turning back.

Not that we’d want to. We’re happy and excited. And it will be nice to give Gatsby a sibling. He’s looking forward to licking and sniffing the baby in inappropriate places. Of course his first question was, “Do I have to share my toys?”

Ew. No. Please.

So that’s the news! Oh wait–I forgot one detail…

IT’S A BOY!!

My weekend looked like this

Bacino’s pizza date and catching up on Mad Men and Girls on Friday night. (Sadly, The Bachelorette is still on the back burner.)

Brunch and day-drinking for my Emily’s 30th birthday on Saturday. Don’t we look festive in our multicolored jeans?

Meeting an old friend’s new baby, who just happens to be adorable.

Hanging with college friends at a lovely outdoor wedding shower on Sunday.

Snuggling with Gatsby.

And finally squeezing in an hour of relaxation before the weekend was over.

Monday, you’re such a party pooper.

I almost want to have a baby…

Just so that I can buy this adorable frog pillow thing and put the baby in it.

This particular baby is Bethenny Frankel’s. I first spotted the frog pillow with her baby nestled snuggly in its arms on her reality show, and I think it was the first time in my life that my heart melted at the sight of something infant-related.

It was stupidly cute.

I actually hit rewind so I could see it and swoon again. Twice.

It was Sunday morning and I was home alone, and yet I still could not keep myself from saying “Awwwww” out loud. And it probably sounded just as annoying as you’re imagining, so I guess it’s a good thing that no one was there. Then I went to find Gatsby because the sight of that whole ridiculously cute frog pillow situation made me want to cuddle with something.

First hints of maternal instincts?

I don’t know.

The fact that this pillow that I MUST HAVE whenever a baby Irwin comes into our lives is actually something that I can place said baby in to get it out of my way may indicate otherwise.

Also, for a split second it crossed my mind that I could buy the pillow now for Gatsby. A frog cuddling with a tiny dog? Shut up. I die. (Yes, I also watch The Rachel Zoe Project.)

So really my obsession with the frog pillow may not be baby-related at all. I just can’t handle the cuteness of a small creature snuggled up with an affectionate plush frog. My heart swells, my eyes tear up, I cock my head to one side, smile like a freaking idiot and explode into tiny pieces of heart-shaped cartoon confetti.

I may have just discovered my kryptonite.

Regardless, the fact remains that someday a similar frog pillow WILL be mine (oh yes), and if it means that in order to get one I have to have a baby to put in it…then so it shall be.