Oktoberfest, Hermann style

Posted on October 29, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

So last Friday, we drove down to the cute little town of Hermann, MO with our friends Erin and Brent to partake in a weekend of revelry, merriment and general Oktoberfesting.

Hermann’s German roots are still alive and well and there’s a brewery and six different wineries within just a few miles of the downtown area. It was awesome.

I think the fun we had on our trip can best be expressed in a monologue from the 2006 major motion picture Beerfest. And also by the following photo montage:

Here we all are at dinner on Friday night. I think this was right after a very nice local man came up to us and asked if we wanted to buy some of his “Pro-Life” raffle tickets. The prize? A hunting rifle. Welcome to Hermann.

The next series of shots effectively depicts me getting annoyed at Will because he kept taking the picture before I was ready. He subsequently redeemed himself by finally getting a pretty decent shot of me and Erin.

We found this Oktoberfest hat at another bar we went to, so of course one of us had to put it on.

Turns out it belonged to our server and by the end of the night we had used our impressive skills of persuasion to convince her to give it to us. Did I mention that I was the only non-lawyer on this trip? But then we felt bad and decided to let her keep it.

Tin Mill is the local brewery in Hermann. I highly recommend their Oktoberfest. Although, I have yet to meet an Oktoberfest beer I didn’t like.

Can I tell you how annoying it is to type “Oktoberfest” so many times!? My fingers keep wanting to spell it with a “c” – the correct way. I think I’ve wasted about 10 minutes so far hitting the backspace key.

Moving on…

Here’s a shot of charming downtown Hermann.

The bed & breakfast we stayed at was in the top floor of the building on the far right.

This was our first B&B experience. Let’s just say it was…interesting.

Linda and Olan were our hosts. Linda was a nice woman and expert maker of French toast who made an effort to hide her look of disdain when the four of us showed up for breakfast hungover, unshowered and in our pajamas. Olan was a chatty fellow with conservative leanings and a penchant for leather vests. Our rooms were festooned with American flags and patriotic decor and we had to pray with everyone before we ate.

So pretty standard for small-town rural Missouri.

Before heading to the wineries on Saturday, we decided to check some of the antique shops downtown. Also, we had no idea where to find the winery trolley, so we were pretty much just wandering around aimlessly with nothing better to do.

The antique stores all smelled like the garbage bag full of my mom’s old toys that my grandma used to drag out of the basementwhenever we went to visit her and my grandpa when I was little. Also, they had some pretty cool stuff!

Here we are at the first winery.

“Look, lederhosen!”

I put that exclamation in quotes because I actually yelled that when I saw these guys. Well, I didn’t mean to yell it, but that building was very echo-y.

We drank a bottle of wine, walked up and down a big hill and listened to some polka music. All before noon.

After lunch, we hopped aboard the winery trolley (convenient, right??) and headed to our second stop: Stone Hill Winery.

Deciding on a bottle here was an intense process. It required many, many tastings. Many tastings.

Ohhh, this is why I don’t get carded anymore! Apparently people 7 years younger than me can now drink alcohol. Mere babies, I tell you.

After our tasting we bought a bottle and proceeded to take pictures of our heads on cardboard German people’s bodies, roll down hills, and jump around wildly. You know, the usual.

Our final stop was Oak Glenn winery.

It was a lot less thought-provoking than one my assume by looking at that picture.

The view was good, but the wine…well let’s just focus on the view.

The view!

The trolley ride back to town was good, if only for the fact that we made it back alive. It was standing room only, and I think Def Leppard was blaring on the speakers and some girl next to me told me that I should “grind up on that guy.” Grind. On a trolley. Who did she think I was, some contestant on The Bachelor??

Once we got back to town, we headed to our B&B to watch the Mizzou game and find out that it’s really hard to take naps on antique apholstered benches.

And that about sums up the trip!

So what is everyone being for Halloween?? I’m going as Audrey Hepburn a la Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Mooooooon riiiiiiiverrr…

And my great news is…

Posted on October 27, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

THIS will soon be our home. Our sweet home, if you will.

I’m coming back, Chicago!!

More details later! (As you can imagine, I have a lot going on right now…)

Update (Don’t You Forget About Me)

Posted on October 26, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

I got some really good news yesterday.

And then I promptly stepped in a massive pile of dog poop five minutes later. I mean massive.

Was this an attempt by the cosmic forces of the universe to ground me? Perhaps.

As I sat on my front stoop for 20 minutes scraping excrement from the many crevices in the sole of my shoe with a sadly inefficient twig, I couldn’t help but think that the world works in mysterious ways. And also that one of my neighbors must be stowing a horse in their backyard because man, that was a massive poop.

Is this the culprit??

I’ll let you in on the good news later, I promise.

Also, I’m working on a post about our adventures this weekend at Oktoberfest in Hermann, Missouri: Antique stores, wine, sauerkraut, wine, Mizzou game, wine, beer, wine. We laughed, we cried. It was better than Cats.

So really, the point of this post is just to say “heeeyyy!” and make sure you don’t forget about me.

I’ll post again soon! A real post. I promise.

Until then, enjoy these totally random and hilarious search terms that WordPress tells me people have used to find my blog:

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Spanky

Posted on October 19, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

Well folks, there’s a lot going on with me this week. Sadly, writing blog posts will probably not be one of them.

But I didn’t want to ignore you completely, so I decided to post this photo to tide you over and because I always have time for things that make me laugh.

Ok, I know, a photo of my lovely sister on a beach in South Padre Island is not funny. No Shannon, that was not meant to be an insult. You look beautiful. But here’s the full photo:

I love this horse.

My sister posted this photo on Facebook last week, and I’ve looked at it about 10 times since then. I’m sure she appreciates me sharing it with all of you. (Hey, if you put on Facebook, it’s fair game!)

The best part? The name of Shannon’s radiant equine companion is… Spanky.

Spanky. That’s perfect.

And according to my brother-in-law’s Facebook comment, Spanky was “special.” Either that, or just in urgent need of the heimlich maneuver.

Kind of reminds me of another “special” someone in my life who enjoys inserting his tongue into otherwise perfectly decent photos:

Aww, love you Spanky!

I’m baking! I bake! I’m a baker!

Posted on October 12, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

This past Sunday, I attempted something that I have never tried before, ever in my life.

I baked. Cupcakes. From (almost) scratch.

I know, right?!?

If you are well-acquainted with me and my lack of culinary skills, I’ll give you a second to pick yourself up off the floor.

I was inspired by this pumpkin cupcake recipe I saw on Apartment 34 and also by the mouth-watering confections often featured on Sweet Karoline and Pie in the Sky.

Also, since it’s fall (nevermind that it was an unseasonably warm 87 degrees that day – WTF, St. Louis??), I really really really wanted to make our apartment smell like pumpkins. And simply buying a pumpkin-scented candle is way too easy.

Since I was convinced that this venture would lead to confusion, frustration, personal injury, a catastrophic mess in my kitchen and ultimate failure, I thought I’d document the experience with my trusty camera for your enjoyment. I’m happy to say that, despite my lack of confidence, none of that horrible stuff happened! Except the personal injury. I’ll get to that later.

Of course I started off by making a list (my favorite!) of everything I needed to get at Whole Foods in order to accomplish this project.

Next, I made the trek to Whole Foods, a place I found to be chock-full of delicious, all-natural ingredients and about a hundred million people. But one thing it wasn’t full of was pumpkin puree.

I had a mini temper tantrum in my head and wasn’t completely polite to the worker who informed me that they were out of my key ingredient before heading to another grocery store. It was totally empty and excessively stocked with everything I needed. Which leads me to believe that beneath the floors of Whole Foods, there’s some sort of freakish sci-fi magnet that attracts food-seeking people.

Behold the makings of pumpkin cupcakes:

I’m glad I now have all these baking ingredients in the house – if a neighbor stops by for a cup of sugar, I will NOT be unprepared!

Gatsby came into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about and looked at me as if to say, “This can’t be a good idea…”

I agreed, but forged ahead.

I used the chair in the corner of the kitchen as my command center, complete with my computer (which provided the recipe and my iTunes playlist), my blackberry (in case of emergencies), and water (it’s important to stay hydrated).

The first step was to sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder (those are different?), blah, blah, blah, you get the point.

Thanks to Google, I now actually know what “sifting” means and I completed it victoriously!

I was also impressed at my foresight to pour the ingredients into the measuring cups over the sink. Otherwise my kitchen counter would have looked like this:

Next, I opened the pumpkin puree with our completely unnecessary but fun electric can opener.

It looked like nasty mushed up baby food.

Once I got my gag reflex under control, I mixed in the eggs and other ingredients and was dismayed to see that the concoction still looked completely gross.

I raised an eyebrow at Gatsby, who continued to watch from 5 feet below, and tried not to let his doubtful expression crush my spirit.

There was no turning back now.

I poured the batter into the cupcake holder thingy, and I was ready to BAKE!

23 minutes later, I reached into the oven to retrieve my little golden masterpieces. In all my excitement, it slipped my mind that ovens are hot, and I totally scalded the side of my arm.

I quickly barked at Gatsby to put on his earmuffs and unleashed a string of obscenities.

Actually, I kind of just said “FUUUUU….eeeee mmmm oooowww” or something like that. Pain makes you do weird things.

But look how well the cupcakes turned out!

Once they cooled, I got out the frosting.

I decided early on that I was NOT going to make maple cream cheese frosting from scratch, as the recipe suggested. Who do they think I am, Betty Crocker? Baby steps, people.

I promptly ate half of the frosting and frosted the cupcakes with the other half.

And then…some Reese’s Pieces for garnish. Because Reese’s Pieces are the greatest treat with a candy shell ever invented and they make everything approximately 10 times better.

I NOW PRESENT TO YOU THE FINAL RESULT!

TAAA-DAAAA!

Please, hold your applause. I can’t hear it and you look stupid.

So that’s the story of my first baking adventure! I’ll probably never do it again.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, they DO taste as good as they look!

Back to school

Posted on October 8, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

I don’t know why, but I’ve been thinking a lot about my elementary school days lately. Maybe because fall reminds me of the excitement of going back to school.

I loved this time of year because A) It meant we got to make the annual trip to Kids ‘R Us for a new fall/winter wardrobe, and B) I was a nerd who loved school.

Seriously, nothing thrilled me more than starting my day by hanging my plastic backpack up on my designated hook in the hallway and entering the classroom where the D.O.L. (Daily Oral Language) sentence was already up on the overhead projector, just waiting for me to delve in and correct it.

Seriously.

But D.O.L. isn’t the only thing I miss about my early educational years. So, I decided to make – you guessed it – a list!

Things I Miss About Elementary School:

1. Hot lunch. Hot lunch days happened only a few times each year and they were the BEST. Whether it was pizza, hot dogs or French toast sticks (which was really more like a hot brunch), I was always completely amped up to eat something other than a fruit roll-up and a peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich. (That was my sandwich of choice, but my mom was always a little stingy with the chocolate chips.) Somehow, the consumption of hot food made the whole day seem special and exciting – there was a spark in the air, a spring in my step, and mostly likely after 12pm, a grease stain on my shirt.

2. Recess. Playing Red Rover, getting “chased” by boys, showing off my gymnastics moves, bouncing around on my sweet neon-colored Pogo Ball or Skip-It, playing four-square and “Hot Lava” on the playground (don’t let your feet touch the wood chips!), practicing our New Kids on the Block dance moves, double-dutch jump roping (ok, I may have just been a spectator for that one) – what’s not to love??

3. New seating charts. You never knew when it was going to happen, but when the teacher announced the implementation of a new seating chart, the classroom instantly began buzzing with excitement. Who you sat by could make or break your at-school social life. Being seated next to your best friend was like winning the lottery (with similar odds – my teachers weren’t dumb). Being seated next to the kid who picked his nose and wiped it on the bottom of his desk was pretty much the worst case scenario. But the best part was the few minutes before discovering your fate – pure adrenaline rush!

4. Room parents. My mom was a room parent. She was also the “Picture Lady.” And a hot lunch day volunteer. And my Brownie troop leader. She spent about as much time at my elementary school as I did. Believe it or not, I thought this made me pretty darn cool. Whenever she was in my classroom, I felt like I owned the place and could do whatever I wanted. My mom was there. Sadly for her, this mentality rapidly deteriorated as I got older. In 5^th grade, I actually requested that she un-volunteer for the Outdoor Education overnight trip because I didn’t want my mom staying in the cabin with me and my friends. But then we got stuck in a cabin with our teacher – so that kind of backfired.

5. The President’s Challenge fitness testing. This was my chance to shine. I kicked some serious corduroy-clad butt in the 50-yard dash and I could hang off of that pull–up bar for minutes hours. Let me tell you something about me as a kid – I loved to show off. My class and the gym teacher were my audience and that smelly tile gym was my stage. I was pretty sure the President himself must have known who I was since I was awarded the official iron-on decal every year for my achievements. My only downfall? The sit-and-reach. That evil metal box of doom. I was lucky if I could push that stupid marker past my knees. In fact, I’m pretty sure that never happened.

Ahh, now I’m feeling all nostalgic. I better stop this before I get the urge to tight-roll my jeans and get out my old troll dolls and slap bracelets…

8 month progress report

Posted on October 6, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

If you’ve been reading my posts for awhile, you know that the very loose premise of this blog is that I’m trying to enjoy and document what might be my last few childless years. According to my “life plan,” I’m getting pregnant at 30, which means I only have a couple years to start liking babies and come to terms with the gruesome realities of pregnancy.

I know that most of what I post on this blog is actually not baby-related. It’s a loose premise, remember?

Also, I’m naturally inclined to write about the things that are currently on my mind. Believe it or not, I’m pretty much never thinking about babies.

I think about ways that I can get Gatsby to wear a little dog sweater about 20 times more often than I think about babies, if that gives you any indication of what is presently concerning me. (He freezes up and won’t move as soon as I put a sweater on him, making it impossible to take him for walks once the temperature dips below 50 degrees! He doesn’t understand it’s for his own good – stubborn (adorable) little bastard.)

But even though babies are on my mind about as much as the MLB playoffs (read: 0% of the time), I thought I would give you an update on my progress as far as warming up to the idea of having a kid goes.

If the end goal is being ready to have a baby, I have made approximately ZERO progress since I first started this blog.

In fact, I may have even regressed in the other direction and am now even less ready to get pregnant than I was 8 months ago.

This is not how I predicted or hoped this would go. I do want kids, after all. I just want them later.

I thought that once some of my friends got pregnant and had babies, I would see how wonderful it is and would want to have one too. So far, this hasn’t happened.

I will say that I’ve recently developed a fondness for the spawns of my friends. I’m even finding them to be slightly cute. I’m starting to appreciate how cool it is to hang out with little humans that were created by people I love and witness my friends assuming the role of “mommy.” I’m also really starting to appreciate the fact that I’m not them.

More and more, I’m enjoying the freedoms of a childless life. I’m enjoying going on weekend trips, hanging out at wine bars for extended periods of time, and just being married. Let’s face it – it’s pretty awesome NOT having stretch marks, NOT breast feeding, NOT smelling like poop and spit-up and NOT spending money on things that keep a baby alive.

If things continue at this rate, maybe 30 won’t be the magic age when I’m willing to surrender my uterus and my life to a baby after all.

NOTE TO MY EGGS: I know you’re going to start dying soon, but I can’t bring myself to put you to good use while I’m still not able to control my gag reflex at the sight of a drooling child with baby food up its nose. Hang in there, ladies.

Lite rock: A confession

Posted on October 1, 2010 by carlieblissirwin

I grew up listening to lite rock. NOT by choice. Let’s make that clear.

It was just that my mom happened to be a suburban 30-something-year-old woman whose preferred method of transportation was a Dodge minivan with Lite fm 93.9 firmly holding its spot on radio preset button #1.

She also wore shirts adorned with masterfully self-applied puffy paint and iron-on decals. You know the type. And if you grew up in the 80s/90s that type was probably your mom also.

It wasn’t until I reached my tween years that I discovered there were other kinds of music out there besides synthesized pop and the strained crooning produced by the vocal chords of Kenny Loggins and the like.

That’s when I swore off lite rock and began storing my Michael Bolton tape in the back of my sock drawer.

But then a funny thing happened.

I’m a station surfer when I drive, so whenever a bad song comes on, I hit the seek button until I find something I like. A few years ago, I noticed an alarming pattern associated with this behavior.

Inexplicably, I found myself pausing upon hearing the familiar chords of a Chicago or REO Speedwagon song.

What?!? Why?!? I don’t even LIKE that music!

Or do I…?

Ok, ok, I DO. But only in small doses.

I don’t know if I actually enjoy the music or if it’s just the nostalgia of hearing the soundtrack to my childhood (I’m inclined the believe the latter), but I will publicly admit that I don’t completely dislike lite rock.

So since I posted a list of my favorite oldies to welcome summer a few months back, I decided to compile a list of my favorite lite rock songs to welcome fall. Even though lite rock really has nothing to do with fall. As previous posts have indicated, I clearly have no qualms about making extremely loose connections and exploiting them on this blog.

So here’s the list: