Have we learned NOTHING from Jurassic Park??

According to the Today Show this  morning, scientists are working on cloning the woolly mammoth, and may actually create one in the next 5 or 6 years. And within the next couple of generations, woolly mammoths could once again be roaming the plains.

They actually said that.

I guess when I got scared by Jurassic Park as a kid and my parents said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a movie,” THEY WERE WRONG.

Please excuse me while I work on suppressing disturbing visions of a cup of water vibrating in time with increasingly loud thumping sounds in the distance…

(source)

Another rugged guy makes me want to vomit

Oh, Today Show. I love how you know exactly how to induce a gag reflex while I’m eating my oatmeal in the morning.

First we had the guy who cut off his own arm and then they made a movie about it. (Did anyone go see that? Why? You want to watch someone cut off his arm for 2 hours? Because nothing else really happens, right??)

Then there’s this guy who was on the Today Show this morning. Apparently he got his foot stuck while working in the woods and had to cut off his own toes to get free. I love how they mention the fact that he had to cut through bones AND tendons. In case we weren’t aware of just how nasty cutting off your own appendages can be.

People, let this be a lesson: DO NOT GO IN THE WILDERNESS ALONE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

And if you have to go alone, don’t be flinging your limbs around all willy-nilly. You never know where they could get stuck.