One of my favorite things to do is go on vacation.
This makes a lot of sense because some of my other favorite things to do are relax, go out to eat, and not work.
Traveling is a priority in life right now because it’s probably going to become a lot more difficult and less frequent once we have kids. Will and I haven’t done our big trip to Europe yet (it’s on the baby bucket list!), but we have gone to a lot of cool places since we got married three years ago.
Today, I’m putting on my “travel guide” hat and giving you my own special take on some of the top places we’ve been to.
3 phrases that best describe our experience: mojitos, sore calves, food poisoning
Best anagram: No ass can firc
Theme song: “Gonna Be” by the Proclaimers (aka, And I would walk 500 miles…because you will. Walk. 500 miles.)
Ideal outfit: Skinny jeans, flats, tank top, short sleeve shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweater, jacket, scarf (layers are key – it’s literally 10 degrees colder in the shade). Also, I think you could get away with wearing a beret here. If you want to.
Make sure to bring: A cool indifference to homeless people
3 phrases that best describe our experience: Sam Adams, nausea on a T train, the Redcoats are coming!
Best anagram: Snot bo
Theme song: “Revolution” by The Beatles
Ideal outfit: Know this: nothing is worse than a pair of Uggs. Except for a pair of smelly, sweaty Uggs. It can be 80 degrees there in September. I’m just saying.
Make sure to bring: A dictionary. There are a lot of smarties running around that city. You don’t want to look a fool.
3 phrases that best describe our experience: pura vida, ATVs are scary, monkeys!!!
Best anagram: A rat coc is
Theme song: “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses
Ideal outfit: Nothing. It’s hot there.
Make sure to bring: Various blunt instruments to fight off large lizards. And Frizz-ease.
3 phrases that best describe my experience (this was a girls-only trip): pineapples, heavy accents, I want that house
Best anagram: La rot sneach
Theme song: Dixie
Ideal outfit: Just wrap yourself in a confederate flag. You’ll fit right in.
Make sure to bring: Alligator repellent
3 phrases that best describe our experience: speedos, GTL, habla ingles?
Best anagram: I am mi (didn’t have a lot to work with there, ok?)
Theme song: “Livin’ la Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin
Ideal outfit: Skimpy bikini with metallic heels, flashy earrings and huge sunglasses. This works for both men and women.
Make sure to bring: Lots of money and those glow sticks you can put in your mouth.
I know, my anagrams suck. That was a lot harder than I thought.
Next up on the travel docket: Michigan! Thanks to those “Pure Michigan” commercials. It’s not that the wistful music and Tim Allen’s soothing voice made me cry or anything. Wait. What?