I took the day off today, everybody! This morning, while you’re sitting and staring at your computer screens, I’m sitting…staring…at my computer screen.

Balls.

I’m trying to do at least two blog posts a week, and while there are absolutely no consequences for not meeting that goal, that doesn’t stop me from giving myself a mental lashing and experiencing what I can only assume is similar to Catholic guilt. (Not to compare my wrath to that of God. I repeat, I am NOT comparing myself to God. I see myself as more of a Jesus. At least when it comes to footwear – love those gladiator sandals!)

The best thing about this lovely day off of mine is that I have absolutely no plans until 5 pm, at which time I will be escorted by my dashing tuxedo-clad husband to his cousin Nicole’s wedding (yay for love!). In the meantime, I plan to relax and thoroughly enjoy my time off.

Which means that I will spend the majority of the day sitting around and worrying that I’m not enjoying my time off enough.

This self-defeating attitude has already begun, as I am currently silently scolding myself while writing this very sentence (too many words! in my head! flying around!) for doing something that requires me to think and not tune out in a total state of relaxation.

It’s like I have an abusive relationship with my laptop – leaving it is easier said than done. (Cue that new Rihanna and Eminem song and picture me, in a defeated, crumpled heap on the floor while my computer towers over me. Slowly, I reach for the keyboard, tears streaming down my face… It’s alright because I like the way it hurts…)

Wow, that can’t be healthy.

So, I am hereby signing off from my computer today (this is not binding, by the way, and does not include my phone) and figuring out a better way to relax, away from the soft glow of technology, before I develop carpal tunnel and my retinas spontaneously detach themselves.

How about…NO, okay computer?

<i miss you already>