A few weeks ago, we were hanging out with our friends Erin and Brent who are getting married in April. In the Dominican Republic. And we’re going. Woohoo!
Anyway, we were at dinner (using a Groupon I might add! If you haven’t checked out that site yet, you should – great deals. I promise they’re not paying me to say that) and we came up with a plan that is, dare I say, BRILLIANT.
Erin and Brent are in the same boat as us: The USS We Want a Family But Having a Baby Scares Us Right Now.
And, like us, they are testing the parental waters with their pseudo children Chauncey, Hayes, Louie, and one other cat whose name I can’t remember (but who is very sweet when she’s not peeing in their house plants).
Their dog Chauncey is actually quite adorable.
Almost as cute as Gatsby, The Cutest Dog in the World.
But back to the BRILLIANT plan. The four of us were discussing our reservations about the child rearing process – you know, creating this being who we will forever be tied to and feel responsible for and who we will worry about and pretty much obsess over for the rest of our lives – when we came up with the perfect way to have the best of both worlds: a genetically engineered baby made up of equal parts DNA from all four of us.
Yes, that’s right – one baby, two sets of parents – a baby timeshare! Both couples take turns raising the child – perhaps some sort of two-week rotation. While they have the kid for two weeks, we can be childless and free, but the following two weeks we can also experience the joys of parenting, which I imagine are especially joyful if you know that you have a two-week break coming up.
Totally brillz, right? (Or should I say “totes” to be extra annoying?)
Of course there are some logistics to work out. Namely, the science to create a four-parent baby is not yet a possibility as far as I know. Do me a favor and tell all your scientist friends to get working on that. Once they have it worked out so that the child won’t have any freakish genetic mutations (having a three-legged kid might be a bit of an inconvenience), let me know.
I guess in the meantime, we’ll have to plan on going the more traditional route. At least our BRILLIANT plan made for some good dinner conversation, if nothing else.
Random thought of the day: Why is it that some people, when discussing their favorite sports teams, use “we” instead of “they?”
As in: “Yeah man, now that we have <insert athlete’s name here>, we’re going to be really good. It might be our year. We just can’t have too many injuries. Dude.”
Last time I checked, fans were not actual members of professional sports teams. It’s just semantically incorrect. But hey, if it makes them happy to use the collective “we” and perpetuate the delusion that they are somehow involved with the team (motivational vibe sender, maybe?), so be it.
So I find your brilliant plan to be flawed in that you could acccomplish the same goal by both couples having a baby and then trading off taking care of both babies every 2 weeks – no genetic engineering required! Of course then you’d have the added expense of getting therapy for your very confused children.
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