A few weeks ago, I doused by BlackBerry Pearl smartphone in gasoline, blow-torched it, hurled it against a brick wall, sent it through a trash compactor and drop-kicked it into Lake Michigan.

At least that’s what I wanted to do with it. I hated that thing so much. It was the Toby to my Michael Scott.

What actually happened was that I got a new phone (the HTC EVO – not an iPhone, but I’ll take it!), and I threw that stupid, stupid BlackBerry in my closet somewhere. That way I knew I’d never find it again.

Ever since that day, I’ve been able to receive phone calls and text messages, go on Facebook and do general things that all smartphones do (except for really dumb and ugly BlackBerry Pearls).

Also, I’ve become obsessed with taking retro-looking photos using the FxCamera app.

Recently, I went to my friend Renee’s bachelorette party at Lucky Strike bowling alley in River North and decided it would be the perfect event to document in blurry, saturated 1970’s fashion. (Ok, maybe the blurriness was just me not knowing how to hold my phone still, but I’m going to pretend it adds to the effect.)

About that scoreboard – “CARB” is me. And yes, I did knock down 146 pins that game. For the win. SKILLZ.

So the bachelorette party was a great time (congrats Renee and thanks to Kelly and Kim for planning!). And thanks to the pics from my sweet new phone, I’ll always have fake-retro memories that make me and my friends seem a little more hipster than we actually are (which is not at all).